Let’s be frank, many people avoid doing estate planning because it is synonymous with death. They associate putting a plan together because they have passed away. And NO ONE likes to think about their own death, let alone that of a parent, child, or close relative. I hope to change your thinking about this a bit and help you to start thinking about his as synonymous with life, peace of mind, and great family harmony.
Why does this conflict and lack of harmony rise up when someone passes away? Two simple words can answer this question…MONEY and PEOPLE. First, money changes almost everyone. There are thousands of stories all over the internet about how someone came into some money and their life went downhill fast. Or the stories about how they lost it all because they changed and didn’t know how to deal with it. Regardless of the reason, money changes people. Dealing with this issue when you are alive will allow much of the stress and issues to dissipate and they can be more effectively handled by you because you can answer one simple question…WHY? Why are you giving so and so this and that? You get to answer these when you are alive and eliminate the mystery after you pass away.
Second issue is PEOPLE. When there are people involved there can be conflict. One of the biggest issues that arise in this discussion is guardianship…who gets the kids if something happens to you. After all, if you don’t deal with it in your estate plan, the state has a different way to view this which generally won’t be what you would want. So dealing with any of the people (and children) issues up front while you are alive makes this many times easier for everyone.
Estate planning attorneys, trust officers, accountants, charitable giving professionals, insurance advisors, elder law attorneys, and nonprofit advisors, who recently attended a major conference on estate planning were surveyed by TD Wealth about what they believe is the biggest issue clients have with estate planning. Drumroll please…the answer was, “Their biggest worry for the success of client’s estate planning was family conflict.”
An article from WealthManagement.com, “Family Conflict Tops the List of Estate Planning Challenges in 2018,” says 44% of all planning professions consider family conflict more of a threat to estate planning than tax reform (25%) and market volatility (12%). That is not a small number. It should be considered, while creating or revising an estate plan.
What is the biggest challenge that people face when addressing their estate plan, according to this survey? It is naming guardians for minor children and beneficiary designations.
Talking with family members about your estate plan and even bringing them to your estate planning attorney’s office for a family meeting can be a significant first step to heading off potential conflicts. Your estate planning attorney can work with you to create a plan for discussing challenging topics. If all else fails, the attorney may be able to recommend a social worker who is familiar with family conflicts that arise during the estate planning process. However it turns out, talking about it while you are alive is guaranteed to give you better results than when you aren’t with us any longer.