If there is one thing in common with most fathers it’s that they feel responsible for their family. They want to keep their families safe and protect them in every way possible. And this doesn’t only refer to physical safety…it also refers to financial, health, mental, and all other aspects of life. Safety is paramount for most fathers, as it should be.
But there is one simple, relatively straightforward process that is often times forgotten about or ignored…having a well document estate plan in place. While there are great efforts to ensure your child’s physical safety, their guardianship and financial security is just as important. It’s always important to ask, what would happen if something should happen to you?” If you have plans in place to have a very specific and detailed answer, you are well on your way to protecting your family.
There are as many definitions of a good father as there are good fathers. However, one thing everyone agrees upon, is that good fathers are responsible people, says Fatherly in the article “If You Do One Thing For Your Kids, Plan For Your Death.”
A good father takes care of his children and keeps the world around them in order and protected. Responsibility is the backbone of parenting. And in our society where ideas around masculinity are entwined with the concepts of leadership and authority, a father is supposed to take care of things. They are supposed to be the strength of the family unit.
But with all this masculinity in the equation, why is it that often times great dads turn into little boys when it comes to addressing the tasks of having a will prepared and creating estate and guardianship plans for their children? If you ask most estate planning attorneys they will tell you that getting dads into their offices to get the process of creating an estate plan started is extremely difficult. Having conversations about who should rear their children, if they should die, is nearly impossible.
One of the reasons is the thought that they won’t die, or at least don’t want to think about it. And, of course, the most important time to have a will and guardianship agreement in place is when children are young and under the age of 18. This is also a time when the children’s parents are still young, in their 20’s and 30’s and really aren’t thinking about something happening to them…they are still relatively invincible. This is unfortunate thinking but thinking that permeates this age group of adults.
Many men also feel they don’t have a lot of money so why bother with a will? If I don’t have a lot of assets then why do I need to worry about an estate plan is often times their thinking. Others are a little more callous and say they don’t care what happens since other people will figure out what to do after they are gone. And still some say that their fathers didn’t have a will and things worked out so why should they worry about it. If you grew up in a family where estate planning and wills were discussed and not considered taboo subjects you will be much more likely to have an estate plan in place.
However, the corollary also comes into play. The men whose fathers didn’t believe in having a will are often times more proactive about creating their own will since they don’t want to do to their family what their dad did to theirs.
Here’s the bottom line…if you have the responsibility of fatherhood you need to have a will and a guardianship plan in place. A will can be used to name a guardian (the person you want to raise your children) if you are dead or incapacitated. It can also name a person who will take care of the money left behind for your children. Children are perhaps the biggest reason for dads to have an estate plan.
Unfortunately, failure to have an estate plan means the courts will make the decision about who will raise your children and certainly opens the possibility of a family battle over who will have that responsibility.
Now is the time to stand up if you are a father and make an appointment with an estate planning attorney. I am more than happy to discuss this further with you and if you are reading this and in a different state, shoot me a message and I’ll connect you with someone in your state. I have a network of over 2000 attorney throughout the country that can help anyone in any location. The key is to take action and stop avoiding a meeting with your estate planning attorney. Remember, you are a model for your children and this is another way you can show them what being a good father really means.